10 Tips on Staying Healthy While Managing the Grieving Process of Divorce

Staying Healthy During DivorceLife is messy at times. Divorce is more than a mess; the process itself is an upheaval of your whole life. Not only are you trying to find your new normal, but you are in the middle of re-establishing definitions of family, of friends, and you are nursing a wounded heart. In order for you to manage the grieving process of divorce, you must stay physically and mentally healthy. Emotional and physical strength wanes when you aren’t staying healthy.  Follow these ten tips to stay healthy while you deal with the divorce process:

1. Identify What is Draining Your Vitality and Health

  • Stress brings about the ‘fight or flight’ survival instinct, which produces hormones in your body to save your energy in the way of fat. Your immune system is the first thing to suffer in a stressed body. Yes, you are catching every little cold and sniffle going around! Negative thoughts that surround you during the divorce process can be attributed to stress too.
  • Insomnia has become your bedtime partner. Lack of sleep starts to affect your usual thought patterns making it difficult to remember appointments, go to the gym, and conduct simple daily activities.
  • Loneliness can kick in when your “couple” friend list is now divided into ‘his’ and ‘hers’. The result can be  is mistrust and the key is to building new social networks.
  • Anger can result when when you are sleep deprived, and when your current status quo is suffering.
  • Diet can be compromised when the longing for “comfort food” comes calling. Nutritious food and replenishing your body with natural fuel helps fight the physical affects of divorce, which in turn helps boost your emotional stamina.
  • Exercise consists of tossing and turning in your bed at night or running out to replenish your ice cream, cookies, and candy cravings.

2. Establish a Support System

Call a counselor, objective friend, family, trainer or spiritual guide to help you through the challenges ahead. Whether you are talking out, exercising, meditating or reestablishing old relationships other people are a great asset in your support system.

3. Keep your Doctor Appointments

Regular physical checkups and doctor appointments keep you connected to your everyday health. If you feel stressed, have insomnia or have anxiety, let your doctor know so you get professional advice to help you navigate your life changes as the divorce progresses, and even when it is over.

4. Make Time for Yourself

Whether you exercise, meditate or just want a night out with your friends, take that YOU time. Your mental and physical stamina and health are directly connected to overall well-being. When you make time to do things that make you happy, healthy and balanced, you handle daily stress more easily.

5. Find your Peace

Everyone has their own special space of peace. It may be a physical place you escape to for a long weekend. Other escapes are taking a bubble bath, hitting the gym, reading a great book, immersing yourself into a hobby or sport, or organizing your home.

6. Fight Loneliness

Be social outside of your old couple world.  Consider it an adventure to try something new each week. Change restaurants, theaters, and join groups. If you have a favorite activity, join a group centered on the activity.

7. Establish a Sleep Pattern

Rest and sleep are important to your immune system, mental health and physical well-being.

  • Put down the electronics well before bed. The light is thought to stimulate the brain and make it harder to turn off thoughts.
  • Stay with a consistent bedtime routine and schedule.
  • Avoid stimulates, like coffee, nicotine, sugar, and alcohol immediately before bed.
  • A cool, dark and comfortable bedroom helps you go to sleep and stay asleep.
  • If your brain is too busy, keep a journal and write it down, including lists and solutions.
  • A warm bath or shower before bed helps you relax.
  • Yoga, or a white noise machine, can provide an extra calming atmosphere.

8. Get Organized

A tidy space makes for a tidy mind. Donate, toss and keep piles help you sort the clutter and get your physical environment as calm as you want to be.

9. Let it go

Once you find a balance of peace, exercise, diet, social and rest you are ready to let it all go. Let go of the anger, the parts of the “old life” that weren’t working for you anymore, the stress and embrace a  new path.

10. Embrace the Good and Forgive

Growth is when you find a new normal and change your attitude for the good. Remember to forgive yourself and others. Thank yourself for the courage it took to make the journey to a better future.

For more information or to meet with one of our attorneys regarding your upcoming divorce or custody case, give our office a call at 973-718-7705.

About the Author:

Sarah Jacobs is dedicated to protecting the interests of clients in family law proceedings. Certified by the Supreme Court of New Jersey as a Matrimonial Law Attorney, and Qualified as a Mediator, Sarah possesses close to 15 years of experience practicing law throughout the State of New Jersey. Together with partner Jamie N. Berger, Esq. their boutique Morristown family law firm is managed with the goal of providing high-quality service tailored to each client's individual needs. In her capacity as both a family law mediator and litigator, Sarah works with negotiation-minded clients in a cooperative setting. She is also a skilled litigator with the knowledge needed to take even the most complex cases to court, if necessary.

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