Parallel Parenting in Morris County Divorce
Creating Sensible Parenting Time Arrangements across Madison, Tewksbury, Hanover, Florham Park, and Morristown
Parallel Parenting is a style of co-parenting often used to temporarily get parents through the early stages of divorce when intense feelings and tempers are at their peak. It can utilized in situations where former spouses who experienced a high-conflict or contested divorce, or if one is parenting with a former spouse who struggles with addiction, a severe mental illness or other personality disorder, or has been physically abusive in the past. Under these circumstances, parallel parenting may be an effective strategy.
A popular reference for Psychology Today, Dr. Edward Kruk states, “Parallel Parenting is an arrangement in which divorced parents are able to co-parent by means of disengaging from each other, and having limited direct contact, in situations where they have demonstrated that they are unable to communicate with each other in a respectful manner.”
Essentially, this requires accepting the limitations of your ex and creating the healthiest parenting situation for your children in order to avoid conflict and give children the most civil and stable arrangement possible. It also means planning for a lack of flexibility as it relates to parenting time and the custody schedule. Having a healthy support system of family, friends, and fellow parents who can both support you and the children, means you have the best chances of overcoming many emotional, financial and psychological challenges of single parenting.
As your child custody and parenting time agreements will likely determine the co-parenting parameters for your family for years, barring a child custody modification, your parenting time agreement must be drafted with the utmost care and detail.
New Jersey courts are most often of the opinion that children of divorced parents should spend as much time as possible with both parents. The law supports parents who are engaged in their children’s lives and take an active role in care taking and parenting.
At Jacobs Berger, LLC, our founding attorneys have nearly 25 years of combined experience assisting clients with child custody and parenting time matters across Madison, Randolph, Hanover, Florham Park, Morris County, and throughout New Jersey. Our unique approach to family law matters centers around open and honest communication between the parties, and finding solutions which allows parents to maintain the stability of their co-parenting relationship, their relationship with their children, and their financial and legal futures.
How Can I Promote Healthy Parallel Parenting Interactions?
The solution may not be workable, or straight forward, however the target is to help reduce conflict and requires communication between parents remain respectful and parents should avoid putting children under the additional emotional stress and pressure of having to pick sides. With smart technology and digital calendars, parents can stay committed to joint decision making (e.g., schooling and extracurricular activities of their kids) while the daily logistics are separate.
- Communication must be business-like, non-personal in nature, and only contains information relevant to your children’s well-being.
- Unplanned communication is discouraged except in the case of an emergency.
- Do not use children as messengers to communicate with your former spouse.
- Do not change the custody schedule without a written agreement.
- Do not share personal information of any kind with the other parent.
- To reduce conflict and misunderstandings, ensure the schedules or proposed changes to the schedule are shared and agreed upon in writing.
How Can Children Benefit from Parallel Parenting?
Research suggests that the quality of the relationship between co-parents can also have a strong influence on the mental and emotional well-being of children, and the incidence of anxiety and depression. The implementation of Parallel Parenting early on in the divorce process when bitterness and anger tend to be at their peak, can benefit the children in more ways than one:
- A greater sense of of self-esteem.
- Fewer trust issues and better psychological transition into adulthood.
- Healthier models for positive and respectful relationships.
- Greater opportunities to increase socially positive communication skills in interactions with others.
- Better problem-solving skills.
Contact Our Experienced Madison, NJ Parenting Time Attorneys Today
Having some parallel parenting guidelines to direct your relationship post-divorce, will enable you to transition easily toward a less stressful life beyond divorce. At Jacobs Berger, LLC our attorneys have extensive experience drafting, modifying, and enforcing child custody and parenting time agreements of all kinds across Hanover, Randolph, Madison, Florham Park, Morris County, and throughout New Jersey.
We seek to both ensure that your individual needs, interests, and rights as a parent are properly taken into account in any parenting time agreement or post-divorce dispute, as well as to resolve these matters in a manner which protects the stability of your economic, legal, and parental future.
To speak with our firm today regarding your specific needs or concerns regarding your child custody and parenting time agreement in a confidential case assessment, please contact us online, or through our Morristown, NJ office at 973-718-7705.