Divorce is hardly easy on children, especially lengthy, acrimonious proceedings. However, the public rarely hears about the positive effects that a divorce can have on kids.
You may want help from a counselor or therapist if your child is having a hard time coping with the divorce or as a precautionary measure, if your co-parent agrees, to help mitigate any negative effects. But do not overlook the potential for positive benefits, including the following:
- Moving past the anger, fights, or tense silence can be a tremendous relief. Every couple has their own way of being unhappy, and children notice this, even if the parents attempt to hide their disagreements. A stressful environment is not a healthy place to grow up.
- Children are normally happier when their parents are happy. In more ways than you realize, you model values like confidence, contentment, reliance and self-esteem. Your kids will probably benefit from every positive step you take toward living a more fulfilling life.
- Kids who learn to cope with change are more resilient. Change is inherently uncomfortable – especially for children, who crave security. Divorce, if handled well, presents many lessons about coming to terms with a big change.
- Spending time with each parent separately can strengthen the bond the child has with each. Shared custody can make time spent with your children more precious.
- Mixed families can be enriching. When children acquire a stepparent, siblings and even a new set of grandparents through a remarriage, they often move into a larger circle of loving support.
A divorce can be a mixed blessing, with losses and gains. Help your kids navigate the rocky aspects, and do not forget to accentuate the positive.